Why am I not bursting with excitement over new technology?

Jolly hockey-sticks! Microsoft (nuthin' whatsoever against 'em - dedicated user of their products and not at risk of going Open Source. OK, well except for my Firefox browser) have introduced Vista. And have or are about to introduce Office 2007. If they were both available in South Africa right now, would I (as I used to!) be rushin' out to get 'em? Not on your Nellie. I've suffered the pains of early software and technology adoption just one too many times. Now, like Pavlov's dog, I have been conditioned. But not the way either Pavlov or MS would like. I have become inordinately cautious about, particularly, anything 'new' from MS.

I've written for many years about the great rush to be first to market. In this instance, MS seems to have held off from their customary rush in order to try deliver a more stable system on intro. But having gone through drama years back on Windows XP, where my printers would no longer run and 'it's the responsibility of the printer manufacturer to provide a patch' - I ain't adopting anything even halfway new until the market place gives it a blessing. The days of knocking back a cappuccino and proudly announcing that you have the latest of whatever, are gone. Gimme the relative peace of mind of a dependable infrastructure that works pretty niftily thank you very much, without some new hedonistic kid on the software block kicking over the traces and breaching all the ground-rules of office efficiency.

Media reports and analysts from Gartner indicate that I'm no longer in the minority with a risk-averse approach to embracing new software. We've all been bitten too many times to go down that road again. Jupiter Research are quoted as saying that 50% of companies will wait 'at least 13 months to install Vista, or won't install it at all'. A no-brainer if you need to ask why.

So, MS, I wouldn't worry too hard about the impending Vista denting Christmastime (overseas) PC or notebook sales. No need to offer me a voucher for a low-cost upgrade when the software does become available in SA. I just won't be adopting it. Until all the other suckers have torn strands from their toupees! Then I'll consider installing the fully de-bugged and service-pack-accompanied version. Have a merry Xmas y'all!

To the second facet of early adoption. I and innumerable friends have suffered at the hands of the truly crap i-mate devices imported into South Africa by Leaf Wireless. Leaf have clearly done hellishly well out of conning suckers like me into believing that i-mate actually delivers what it claims. They're now in splendid new premises in the Design Quarter of Sandton, no less.

Look at the accompanying article - it features the latest HTC (Hi Tech Computing) device imported by Leaf Wireless. As the ANC said of the National Party in South Africa when it changed its name to 'The New National Party' - a whore in new clothes is still a whore. So call it an HTC device if you will. That's just because Leaf are now getting it direct from the manufacturer rather than an intermediary unless I've got the bull by the udder. The bottom line is still that this device will be a dog. Duncan McLeod (the reviewer) is WAY too polite and patient. I've been following his reviews on competitive Nokia products. Anything, frankly, which runs on the inordinately memory hungry MS Mobile v5 software, has to be a dog. On the i-mate JasJar flagship (costing enough to mortgage a posh shack in Alex) it takes a full 15 seconds to open the mail program when you tap on the icon. Until Microsoft and the mobile device manufacturers who use their software get together and come up with a speedy solution - avoid these products like the plague.

The only basis on which I'd be prepared to countenance another Leaf Wireless import would be with a return guarantee policy if it didn't perform to spec.

So, if you want to enter 2007 in a state of relative tranquillity and with decent energy levels, don't use the Silly Season to go tech shopping if the software or hardware have not been around long enough to be tried and tested and bug-free. Don't say I didn't warn you now! :-)