The 'tone and manner' of business correspondence going to clients is something that receives scant attention in most organizations. Advertisements are usually subjected to exaggerated scrutiny, but non-advertising communication is often of the 'default' sort. This is bad news in corporate image terms.
Some thoughts which might help change this:
1) The old days of using extremely formal, legalistic or archaic language forms (it used to be called 'officialese' or 'legalese') are gone. This is largely as a result of e-mail, SMSs, teleconferencing, videoconferencing, movies, actuality TV, radio broadcast informality, development of the global village and the like.
Even the BBC - the last bastion of so-called 'Queen's English', has for years already showcased a plethora of regional and international accents along with stylistic and delivery differences. Even given the legislative and other constraints of some professions remember that good communication is simple communication. Slipping into 'ghastlies' like 'heretoforementioned', 'as per', 'your telecon refers', 'will revert' and such clichés should be avoided at all costs. Where the gravity or other implications of a communication merit it, don't use colloquial language if that's not your style, but equally, avoid sounding like an apprentice in Charles Dickens' writing factory.
2) Nobody speaks their mother tongue with phrases like, 'we shall', 'you could not', 'they have not', etc. We actually say we'll, you couldn't, they haven't etc. I'm not suggesting you start writing like this if it's not comfortable or natural for you. But natural, 'spoken-speech language' is the way of the future.
3) A good way to end correspondence, is not with 'Yours faithfully', but 'Yours sincerely', or even better still, 'Cordially'. If you know the person personally, maybe end with 'Kind regards', 'Regards', 'Warmest regards' etc. Even 'Affectionately' is appropriate under the right circumstances. I've even got to the 'Lots of love' stage with some of my clients, but heck – who knows, maybe you're not the huggy sort! E-mail tends to have introduced a brusqueness that is devoid of either salutation or sign-off etiquette – which is just plain rude.
The greatest communication compliment that can be accorded an individual is when that person's speech and their literary style are virtually identical. That's the highest level of communications congruence. Again, it may not be stylistically suitable if you're drafting a legally-binding contract, tender, responding to a proposal or confirming something that needs to be written in an unambiguous way.
However, when it comes to e-mail or newsletter-type communications with your client base, a warmer, less-formal but still dignified and respectful mode of address works better. Maintain an ethos of personal service, approachability, accessibility and humanity. Your business can still function very professionally while maintaining a personal touch. A natural, spoken-language style of writing in PR or business-to-client relationship marketing communications, is not only appropriate but desirable.
To quote verbatim the conclusion of a famous British politician in a letter to someone he detested…. "I remain sir, your most humble and obedient servant. (Like hell!)" Yup. That's how he wrote it!
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