Clive Simpkins

Are you ill-mannered?

Most of us, I guess, would say 'Absolutely not!' if we were asked this question. Yet the subtlety of what constitutes rude or ill-mannered behaviour escapes many people in business today. So what, you might think. Yet everything about you speaks. So committing an etiquette or manners faux pas (blups), particularly when you don't know that you've done so, can dent your image, your reputation and your credibility.

Despite the geographic size of South Africa, even Johannesburg is described, in business-terms, as 'a small town'. Reputations and impressions get around quickly. To paraphrase Iago, in Shakespeare's 'Othello': 'He who steals my purse steals trash. But he who robs me of my good name, takes from me all that I have and enriches himself in no measure.' Yet most of the image and reputation losses I see, are not occasioned by other people, but by the person themselves. Sometimes you can indeed be 'your own worst enemy'.

A few thoughts then, for behaving and interacting like a professional – and it's not a treatise on e-mail or 'netiquette', but let's kick off on those topics, anyhow:

• Speak your e-mails out loud of they're likely to have the slightest chance of offending. Remember, people can't see your facial expression, your body language or hear the tone of your voice – so the chances of misinterpretation escalate exponentially.
• If it's a contentious e-mail, don't put the recipient's name in the address line whilst you're drafting it, in case you inadvertently hit the 'send' button.
• I use the occasional smiley emoticon in my mails. So if there's a line that might potentially be misconstrued, the smiley creates the tone of voice. Don't go use a great big, animated yellow smiley waving its arms. Here's the one I use. J Simple.
• Don't get straight into the business matter of the e-mail. You would never just walk up to a client or customer and cut to the chase as it were. There would be some vestige at least of what we call a socio-emotional phase. A bit of chat that acts as the segue or link into the purpose of the interaction.
• What do you say at the end of your e-mails? Some people have just an embedded signature with their details. They finish writing and that's what you're left with. Make sure you finish with 'regards', 'cordially, 'best wishes' or something halfway civilised! J
• If you ask for help, do you say 'thank you'? I receive so many messages or e-mails asking for information, advice or a contact and 90% never bother to 'close the loop'with a little 'thank you' message or communication. Those that do, are always at the top of their game. Interesting, isn't it? It tells you why they're there.
• Do you only contact specific individuals when you need their help or want something from them? Don't. That's exploitative at best and parasitic at worst.
• Don't try, uninvited, to leverage other people's relationship networks to your advantage. Sometimes people will offer to connect you. If they don't, maybe it's because they're not comfortable doing so. Remember, it's relationship capital you're asking them to trade on your behalf. That's a precious commodity.
• Don't lay claim to relationships, friendships or to 'having worked with' people when it's simply not true. Don't do it. You will inevitably be 'busted'. The credibility damage that comes with that is huge.
• Do you conveniently 'forget' your wallet in your car when you're doing coffee or a luncheon with others? I know of one woman who regularly spends ten minutes scratching in the depths of her handbag in an attempt to 'find' her purse. Not OK.

These are just a few examples of inappropriate business social behaviour. The list goes on and on. Here's the bottom line: be aware of how you engage with and interact with others. Observe what you do as if you were in their shoes – maybe you won't be very happy with what you read, see or hear.

 

 

Year-end ‘fab’ or flop?

You're starting to plan your year-end function. Budgets aren't what they might have been last year. But you're under pressure to match or exceed the fun-factor at the event.

What are your priorities - a speaker perhaps? A sobering thought: Some startling recent statistics derived from US-based meeting planners indicate that their concerns about a speaker at an event are way below a long list of other concerns. They're typically more interested in the standards of rooming and food than they are in finding the right speaker. And maybe that's precisely why they land up with people who literally don't fit the bill.

Here are some questions (Q) and suggested solutions (S) you might wish to browse through, when considering a speaker as part of your event line-up.

Q: Is our emphasis for the event on fun or on learning? S: If it's really about fun, you need an entertainer. A comic, a ventriloquist, magician (there are some delightfully sophisticated folk around these days), a singer, band, dancers and the like. For goodness sake, don't go dragging in a speaker just so it looks like the event isn't actually the big booze-up it's intended to be.  Or because you want to position it as an 'educational session' for tax break purposes.

Q: What's the intellectual and social sophistication level of the audience? Note, I didn't say 'education' level - because that's often irrelevant. However, if there's a mental or sophistication 'disconnect' between speaker and audience, it's painful.

Q: Will the speaker dovetail with our theme? Or will she or he just tweak their usual schpiel and give us that? S: Make sure you insist on something specific to your needs. If you can't get it, then find another speaker. There's nothing worse than a poorly-concealed 'adjustment' to an existing, off-brief talk.

Q: Where do I schedule the speaker? S: Don't regard the speaker as the perfect weapon against the after-lunch 'graveyard shift'. They may well be capable of maintaining energy and interest among your audience, but it makes more sense to use them where they'll have greatest impact.

Q: What do I want to happen in the heads of the audience when the speaker has left? S: If you can't answer that, you're going to land up choosing the wrong speaker.

Q: Where can I reliably source a speaker of substance? S: First port of call can be the website of the Professional Speaker's Association of Southern Africa (PSASA) – www.psasouthafrica.co.za There you have access to professional speakers who are members of the association, subscribe to certain standards and who will add value to your function. Many of them are topic experts and if they feel they're not the right fit for your need, they'll refer you to someone who is.

Q: Should I use a Speaker Bureau? S: Absolutely, if that's what you'd prefer. Go Google 'em. Type in 'Speaker Bureaus', select 'pages from South Africa', and hit enter. You shouldn't land up paying more for your speaker if you deal with a bureau, because most top speakers today have a single exit price. i.e. Whether you book the speaker direct, or through the bureau, you pay the same.

So, you have been warned. The speaker is not a prop. She or he will not fix what's a bad conference or event to start with - although they might well be the highlight of it. Do your homework. Above all, ask yourself: Do I want an entertainer? – it is, after all, going to be silly season – or do your people really want to learn something?

 

 

 

The delicious daftness of life

Two delightful blupses. One in an otherwise cogently written article on market segmentation by the Financial Mail's Matebello Motloung. It contains a Freudian slip of note. It's highlighted and I've excerpted it below the main article for closer scrutiny. Below that (blups also excerpted) is the 2nd article with a little twist, from the same edition of the FM. With that one, I'd have assumed that in prison your address was pretty much fixed? ;-)  Thank you, FM, for the smile. An orchid is yours.

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Thabo and Manto will share an apartment in Hell

Erstwhile President Thabo Mbeki and his (thank you God! equally erstwhile) Minister of National Health, Manto Beetroot'n Garlic Tshabalala-Msimang will long be remembered for their genocide of tens of thousands of South Africans. How? Why?

His incomprehensible self-serving sophistry on HIV and AIDS. Hers ditto. His dithering with 'quiet diplomacy' whilst he helped keep his Stalinesque buddy Robert Mugabe in power for umpteen years - therefore making himself the surrogate executioner of thousands of Zimbabweans.

He protected Manto too - through thick and thin. After all, they fled the country via Tanzania and cadre loyalty swamps rationality under all circumstances. Innumerable examples validate this.

Her legacy is public hospitals that are ill-equipped and unable in many cases to provide even rudimentary care because she's single handedly forced nurses and pharmacists into working elsewhere in the world, in order to survive financially. But total dolt that she is, she recently and gloatingly signed 'an accord' (heaven help us) on live TV in Burundi to allow Burundian citizens 'who can't get adequate care in their own hospitals' to come overload ours even further. Showing, she bridled disingenuously, 'that Africans can find solutions to their own problems...'

Maybe if she hadn't got her wrecked liver replaced in the Folateng unit of about-to-be-unpronouncably-renamed Johannesburg hospital, but had to queue for up to 8 hours to get a pill, like thousands of indigent pensioners, she might think and behave differently. If ever a transplant was wasted - it was this one. Letting her die would have been a favour to the nation. It would have speeded up ARV treatment. It would have brought better care to babies and mothers. Medical schemes would not have wasted countless hours, vast sums of money and intellectual resources in combating her demented policies. Pharmaceutical companies would not be seriously considering abandoning South Africa and replacing themselves with agencies to distribute their meds in this country. My favourite pharmacist would still have his one person business and might not have been driven into taking a placement in Oregon, USA.

And so to the report below. We think we're a civilised democracy? I think not. We're just another African basket-case with an ever-thinning veneer of money-driven chutzpah and momentum. But we are not good, moral, compassionate people. We deserve the incompetents who largely populate our government. Viva Barbara Hogan, Viva!