Clive Simpkins

'People's Theatre' or child-unfriendly, abusive environment?

Update. People's Theatre directors have responded. See in the posting extension below... (i.e. click on the 'Continue Reading...' link).

Civic Theatre management have also responded.

Dear friends of mine have just had a ghastly experience with the People's Theatre in Johannesburg .

They thought it was a great opportunity for their exceptionally bright, highly-disciplined little karate-ace son to participate in the production of ‘Jungle Book’.

It would mean him missing out on a karate-grading for the year and having to make special arrangements for his school exams, but I was among the people who said, “Go for it – it’s a great experience and something different.” He did. The dream has come crashing down in tears. Not because he didn’t know his lines, or didn’t apply himself, or lacked dedication. But rather, by all accounts, because the directors and cast members treat both children and parents with rudeness and abruptness. The supposedly ‘professional’ young adults who form part of the cast have clearly become legends in their own lunch-time, exhibit little or no emotional intelligence, and have mouths worthy of being rinsed with detergent. I urged the little man and his family to walk away from the production.

As a former drama student myself, I recall numerous productions in which we were involved – and they’re all fond and fun memories. No filthy language, denigration, humiliation or self-serving behaviour involved. By either local or overseas cast members.

Is this a story about one of those pain-in-the-butt, overly-protective mothers of a precocious brat, who feels she or he’s been short-changed? No. She’s a dedicated, hard-working school governing body mover and shaker. She works to and upholds the highest standards and she has a razor-sharp sense of decency and fair play. I’ve given the detail so you can see the commitment the family made to this production.

Finally, before you read her tale.... as a taxpayer, I have reason to believe it’s our money funding these productions and also the director’s salaries. So read this mother’s first-hand account below and see if you believe it merits intervention. I’m getting in touch with the directors, and also the visionary and superb Civic Theatre complex CEO, Bernard Jay, for his comment. I may also drop a note to Minister of Arts and Culture, Dr. Pallo Jordan for interest. Let’s see what they have to say - I'll post their responses. It sounds to me as though a far tighter rein of control needs to be exercised on productions where pre-teens are involved. So read her story….

Bathroom Bizarre's bizarre customer service

Little annoys me more than experiencing a 'disconnect' between how a company advertises itself and the actual so-called 'service experience'.

Story: Domestic worker accident with ceramic double-bowl kitchen sink. Cracked. Decide on less vulnerable stainless steel derivative to avoid future repeat performance. Builders Warehouse Rivonia have truly marvellous black female plumbing advisors - 'Comfort' (appropriately named) is one of them, Rosina is another. They're not matched however, by the Builders Warehouse computer inventory system which shows stock of 10 of the sinks I need, but in fact none are to be found.

I think: Remember hearing Bathroom Bizarre advertised and heavily punted on Talk Radio 702. I schlep to Randburg. They have the sink I need.

Sunday, I open the box on the back of the sink unit, expecting it to contain the plug fittings. Nada. I call Bathroom Bizarre Monday morning. There's an immediate and defensive reaction; 'We told you we didn't supply waste units with this sink. That they're separately charged and that you can get them at Builders Warehouse.' Utter and complete pack of lies. I didn't even know the darned things were called 'waste' outlets. Secondly, I would never knowingly have bought an 'incomplete' unit. That's a no-brainer. So a discussion may have occurred between salespeople backstage at Bathroom Bizarre, but not, as claimed, in front of me.

I schlep the unit back to Bathroom Bizarre to be told by Vanessa that she's now found me two waste connections. I told her: 'I don't want to do business with you.' I got my charge credited and used another supplier who was efficiency itself. And cheaper than Bathroom Bizarre. So the only thing Bathroom Bizarre has pulled the plug on, in my opinion, is their relationship with me.

As Jan Carlzon, erstwhile CEO of Scandinavian Airlines knew, it's all down to just one 'Moment of Truth'. That moment proved too much for me. I hate lies, liars and coverups. You'll always keep a customer by acknowledging a cock-up and doing something to fix it. Why, oh why, is the South African default and norm, an attempt to blame the customer? I'm one of the reasons you have jobs people! Sabe? Capish?
Posted by Clive Simpkins

A rose by any other name....

In the UK they have legislation that protects children from crazed and thoughtless parents who want to give them laughing-stock names.

Clearly we need something along the same lines in South Africa. If ever you needed proof that Afrocentric culture has lost the plot, this is it. I checked. The date isn't 1st April. This is a travesty and a tragedy. Sies!

Exerpted from Financial Mail 24th May 2007

Posted by Clive Simpkins

 
  

Nokia Vodaworld needs service software upgrade - the saga continues.......

6th June..... got a call from the local Nokia people asking for 'further details'. Turns out the Nokia shop in Vodaworld is in fact a Vodacare outlet. Misnomer if ever there was one. So Nokia themselves don't have my phone and can't do anything about it at this point. Thumbs down to Vodacare. Isn't that a great way to stuff up your reputation Nokia? Your name, someone else's dis-service! Eish!

30th May: 24 hours later, still no response, so I've e-mailed Nokia Finland. I've had an automated reply. Let's see what happens next...

31st May - sweet bugger all response - from anyone! Nice one Nokia....

See regular Nokia updates further down on this original article......

Being a totally disenchanted user of the hopelessly underperforming i-Mate products and their reincarnated HTC brethren, I've gone 'interim' on a Nokia N73 (pictured). An OK instrument (no stylus), but recently very prone to 'hanging' at the most inconvenient times. So, sequence of events:

1) Phone Nokia - suggest software upgrade. Eastern European-accented call centre agent is almost incomprehensible. Constantly says 'Yes, sir!' or 'No,sir!' like other people would use conjunctions in speech.
2) I'm damn fool enough to download the software update to my laptop.
3) Installs on phone, and phone then has to do a re-start. That's where the paw-paw hits the fan. It goes into cardiac arrest and flatlines.
4) No matter where you are, you gotta go to Nokia in Vodaworld, Midrand to get it sorted.
5) They check it in - and spell my name wrongly and 'Jan Smuts Avenue' as 'Yarn a mart' Avenue (no kiddin') on the job sheet. Illiterati is the term I'd use. Dan Brown beware.
6) I'm told it will take 24 hours to sort. I have to call to see when its ready. Thought: Why the hell can't they use simple SMS technology to message, 'Scusi dear client, come get your reincarnated instrument?' Beats me. So I have to do the finger work.
7) Round about 22 hours I start making calls. Five of them. Each time I get stonewalled. At hour 23 plus 5 minutes to close of Nokia Vodaworld I finally get the tech manager, an embarrassed and helpful Johan, who tells me it's had to go to 'another level of repair' as they can't resuscitate the phone. Nice if someone had told me that in an earlier call. I wouldn't have put my Saturday afternoon on hold... It's now going to be away for 'between 7 and 14 working days.'

Is this what I'd expect from a Finnish-owned service network? Nah. Never ceases to amaze me how the wheels come off the best companies when they hit Africa. There's a multi-ethnic dis-service ethic that frankly doesn't give a damn. Yeah, Brenner at Nokia Vodaworld - you number among them.

So, Nokia Vodaworld, please ascend the podium and take top position for truly crappy service. Enjoy the fragrance of the Onion of the Week Award. You really deserve it.
Posted by Clive Simpkins

China a world-class contamination-exporter

[NEW: Updated info 3rd February 2008. Click here for New York Times article.]

The Chinese are an ancient culture. I wish I could with integrity say ‘civilisation’. Regretfully that word hardly applies and it looks like it won’t for a very long time.

The Royal Canin (Vet’s Choice) range of dog foods has taken enormous strain in the last two weeks courtesy of, it has been discovered, contaminated raw materials (formica-laced, no less) supplied by China. Similar problems have beset many other manufacturers of pet and other foods, using base ingredients imported from China. China seems to have adopted a growth-by-any-means and to hell with quality and ethics in the process, strategy. Time Magazine of a few weeks back (this is the scan) revealed some horrifying information on their 'NoteBook' page.

Here’s an excerpt:

‘Chinese shoppers are used to warnings about tainted food. According to a November report by the Asian Development Bank, food-borne disease affects 300 million Chinese per year, costing up to US$14 Billion [yes, that’s not a typo!] in lost productivity and medical expenses. But a recent string of high-profile scares involving toxic ingredients has consumers worried about more than a stomach ache.

In Hong Kong, imports of freshwater fish from the mainland were halted in November for 18 days after officials discovered malachite green, a banned fungicide, possibly linked to cancer, in samples of fish from local markets.

On Feb 5^th, the Chinese government released a list of 10 of last year’s most egregious food-safety cases – everything from selling homemade beer in brand-name bottles to making ‘edible’ gelatin from old leather.

The top spot went to a firm in Jiangsu province who were busted for adulterating its nationally sold nutritional supplement, supposedly made from silkworm chrysalis. The real ingredients? Dried pig’s blood and chicken feathers.

On Feb 6^th, Chinese health officials ordered six kinds of lipstick from two Shantou-based companies – including a strawberry-flavoured variety – pulled from stores after they were found to contain Sudan Red, an industrial dye known to cause cancer in lab animals. The dye, used to colour petrol and floor polish, has also shown up in some Chinese chili powders and eggs.

Tests by environmental group Greenpeace recently detected residue from pesticides such as DDT in 4 out of 5 main-land-grown tangerines, strawberries and green vegetables bought in Hong Kong produce markets. One tangerine tested positive for 13 different pesticides.' [end of article]

In South Africa right now, you have to be very circumspect about buying honey because most of our imported honey comes from China – and guess what? Yep, they feed their bees huge quantities of antibiotic in order to keep disease at bay. That antibiotic now contaminates the honey imported from China. So unless you can verify that it’s a local honey you’re buying, or it’s from Woolworths, then don’t buy it.

What does all of this add up to? It means that exponentially accelerating growth as is found in China and India (Chindia) can have and is proving to have, some seriously nasty side-effects. Manufacturers and producers around the world are going to have to adopt the Woolworths (South Africa) model of having their own quality assurance people on site at source, to ensure that things don’t get totally out of control. They appear to be close to that point already.

The bottom line is this: Reading the ingredients label isn’t much help, because it doesn’t specify the source of ingredients. Maybe food retailers need to start insisting on ‘source-code’ information. Then if we see something contains unexpected surprises from unethical China or we notice that China has been a role-player in the value-chain, we can choose not to buy it. A disgraceful state of affairs indeed! Particularly if these products were consumed by small children. They could have irreversible neurological effects.

Perhaps the most ironic aspect is that China's mantra is Guanxi - relationship capital. It used to regard good relationships as a national asset. Like Ubuntu in South Africa, it's clearly bitten the dust. And both for the same reason - greed.

Technorati tags:   China Contamination Formica Chindia Guanxi Ubuntu

http://www.imbizo.com

UPS in South Africa a crap experience

I’ve been driven demented over the years by shoddy-to-shocking service from courier companies. That’s about the breadth of the continuum. Narrow and consistently dreadful. From the Post Office’s Speed Services, to DHL to Sun Couriers, on and on. So yesterday, being midway through reading the almost hagiographic book ‘The World is Flat’, by Thomas L. Friedman, featuring UPS big-time, I thought I’d give ’em a try on a tiny but urgent delivery to Melbourne in Oz. Dear God, what a disaster!

 

I’m not going to bore you with the ludicrous chain of incompetence and lies – yes, twice on the same issue from two different people! But I have it all chronologically logged, with names.

As you know, escalating anything that’s routed through a call-centre these days is well nigh impossible. But I did get to a supervisor at 16:30 who swore she’d sort it and get back to me. Still waiting for your call, ma’am!

This morning I thought what the hell. Surely if UPS is this global phenomenon in terms of the size of its ‘airforce’ and logistics/supply chain hubs, they’ll be interested to hear how truly crappy the local UPS SCS operation is in South Africa.

Clearly though, UPS believe their own PR and what Thomas Friedman’s been writing about them. Because there is no mechanism on their (very extensive) website via which you can lodge a complaint. There are many other websites bitching mightily about the perceived arrogance and alleged ‘don’t give a darn’ attitude of UPS around the world, but nuthin’ that I can track to UPS itself.

The cherry on the top was the driver who finally did pitch at 17:15 and attempted to gippo the collection time on the waybill to 16:30 until I forced him to put the carbonised copies together, scratch out the lie and re-write the correct time. I asked for a spare waybill and he tore one off, leaving a sizable chunk of the bottom right corner missing. So the shoddy service goes right through to the smallest detail in Johannesburg it  would seem. Not a good experience. I wonder if UPS senior management know what doing business with their outlet in South Africa is like?

http://www.imbizo.com

Mainland Chinese no have centre of gravity

I've had a little run of Killer Whales a.k.a. Orcas, in the last week. Remember Free Willy? Yep. That sort of seal-pestering if comical-looking aquatic fella.

I bought a battery-powered (seriously effective little turbine motor- driven) approximately 15cm-long Orca to add joy to the bathtub and swimming pool routine of my grandson, Siphesihle. Only to discover that the mainland Chinese manufacturers had messed up this not inexpensive toy by getting the centre of gravity totally wrong. He moves forward OK but in a chronic 'must catch that seal' nose-up position. Disappointing. Not worth the petrol and hassle factor of taking him back to Pick'n Pay in Hyde Park either. I suppose it could have been worse - the Orca might have turbined along with his bum in the air. I can't help feeling though, that had this been a toy purchased from Woolworths, it would have been 'test-driven' by their quality assurance people before reaching the shelves.

Yesterday, in response to a veritable cacophony of demands, I bought an inflatable killer whale from Dion stores in Sandton. He's about two metres long and promised to add hours of joy to swimming pool time. The picture on the box is seductive and looks like this would be a stable and safe pool toy - although obviously still requiring adult supervision when being ridden by a 3.5 year old, built in grab-handles notwithstanding. Imagine our huge disappointment and my chagrin when we found that the whale goes belly-up in response to the slightest movement of the kid sitting on it. The inadvertently submarine Siphesihle was rescued with everything except dignity and composure intact. The packing box contains a slew of info about the safety and compliance of this product, but I'm beginning to have serious reservations about any longer buying anything that is mainland Chinese manufactured. The producers seem to have two thoughts in mind: 1) Get it to market. 2) Bugger the quality and safety, just bring in the bucks.

If mainland Chinese manufacturers want to build product and reputation credibility in global markets, they're going to have to do way better than they presently are. Maybe they should skip across the strait to Taiwan and instead of sabre-rattling, take a few lessons in quality assurance, safety and consumer satisfaction. Or are we forever going to deal with the same 'don't give a toss' mindset that seemingly prevails about safety and quality, with disastrous (almost daily) consequences in their mining industry? Methinks it's wake-up time lads!

Media owners don't give a toss

You'd think that a newspaper would be keen on maintaining the loyalty of a subscriber whose sub kicked in shortly after Noah landed on Mount Ararat. Not South Arica's Independent Newspapers Group Star newspaper subscription service though. The sub lapsed due to their incompetence and lack of follow-through. It was renewed more than a week ago and I'm told the first paper in the new series will only start arriving in five days time. What a travesty of customer orientation. Their call centre doesn't give a damn and I suspect the operators give false names as the woman I spoke to last night is 'unheard of'. Their crappy IT call-logging system also can't trace the inaction as opposed to action they should be taking. So STAR newspaper subscription services - you are awarded (SFX: trumpet voluntary and roll of drums) the ONION OF THE WEEK AWARD in recognition of truly shocking dis-service.